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An abusive relationship is characterized by a pattern of coercive control. In contrast, healthy relationships allow for egalitarian treatment of both partners and are characterized by mutual respect. Evidence of a healthy relationship includes some of the following characteristics:

Partnerships

  • Decisions are made jointly, with input from each partner
  • Responsibilities are shared by each partner
  • Economic Equality
  • Freedom to decide issues of work, school and money
  • Neither partner restricts the other to gender roles

Emotional Honesty

  • Each partner feels safe admitting and sharing feelings of fear and insecurity
  • Each partner accepts responsibility for their own feelings while recognizing the validity of the other's feelings

Sexual Respect

  • Each partner respects the other's sexual values
  • Each partner honors the other's right to determine the course of their sexuality
  • Each partner accepts "no" and does not enforce sexual demands

Physical Safety

  • Each partner respects the physical space of the other
  • Physical force is never used to subordinate one to the other's will
  • Physical force is never used as a form of punishment

Support, Trust, and Respect

  • Each partner listens and attempts to understand the other
  • Each partner's opinion is valued
  • Each partner respects the right to differing feelings, friends and activities
  • Each supports the other partner's goals